Thursday, November 8, 2012

Her Royal Excitedness Expounds: On Contentment

We visited my grandma (my mom's mom) and Aunt Vicki (my mom's younger sister) this week in Ocala, Florida. The kids had never met their great-grandma and Aunt Vicki had never met her nieces. We ended up calling Grandma "Peacock Grandma" since we already have a "Coffee Grandma" and this Grandma not only loves coffee but also loves peacocks--and ice cream.

Aunt Vicki is affectionately named "My Favorite Aunt Vicki," which is what she trains all of her nieces and nephews and now great-nieces and great-nephews to call her. Judah asked me how she could possibly know she was his favorite since she didn't know Aunt Sarah or Aunt Heather, but it didn't take him long to chime in, too. Sweet Nadia Ruth not only loved her Favorite Aunt Vicki, but also MFAV's dog Nacho. Little Nacho is 18 years old. The first time Nadia met him she literally squeezed the poop out of him. Nothing like being "loved" by a 2 and a half year old.

Miriam connected beautifully with Peacock Grandma. I'm convinced that if we lived closer, she'd ask to visit her every day. Judah had a lot of fun with the residents at the assisted living home where Grandma stays. Ms. Lee and Ms. Pat were his favorites (see pictures on the next post). They got almost as many hugs as Grandma before we left. If not for Miriam, the hugs would have been evenly distributed. Miriam just didn't want to let go. Precious girl.

During our Sunday afternoon chat on her beautiful front porch, Aunt Vicki asked if I'm content being a stay-at-home-mom and homeschooling. I was able to answer honestly, "Yes." I'm not only content, but my current occupation fuels many of my days. Today, for instance, I read a Facebook post by a dear woman who is navigating the world of staying at home with a 3-year-old highly sensitive son and a 6-month-old daughter (it wasn't that long ago that I was doing the same!) She posted today about some anxiety he experienced at a gymnastics class. That got me to thinking about the anxiety I experienced just registering my children for their Sunday School classes at Aunt Vicki's (HUGE!!!) church. Then, in between reading children's books aloud to my three littles, I snuck in a few pages of some of the books that I pick up as encouragement along the way.

So often in our busy and hurried American culture, we attempt to adapt the child to new situations instead of adapting situations to fit the child (this is also why I enjoy homeschooling so much--each child is so different!)
This particular mom was asking about essential oils as a possible remedy for her son's social anxiety. I'm thinking, "Just don't take him to gymnastics and forego the prescription! He's just not ready!" But I remember how hard it is to want to do as much as possible--to fit in an array of opportunities and educational experiences and provide a full life for your beautiful little toddler--and how heartbreaking it is when it doesn't work out as expected. So I forwarded to her a private message that I wrote three years ago and e-mailed to another friend who was experiencing similar struggles with her son and his preschool.

In that e-mail, I reference Susan Schaeffer Macaulay's For the Children's Sake: Foundations of Education for Home and School. Since I was first introduced to this book by my dear friend and veteran homeschool mom Valda Christensen, I have tried to read it every year to help shape and then reinforce my educational philosophy. Parenting is tough. It's full-on. It's all day and sometimes all night. And I'm in it for the long-haul. But I need encouragement, and Ms. Macaulay has it for me--as does Carole Joy Seid, who introduced me to Dr. Raymond Moore, whose books I pick up and re-read from time to time.

In Chapter 2 of For the Children's Sake, entitled "Children Are Born Persons," (penned first by a certain Charlotte Mason, who lived well over 100 years ago and pioneered an educational movement in England which continues to ripple through 2012 all the way to Nashville, TN), we read: Look well at the child on your knee. In whatever condition you find him, look with reverence. We can only love and serve him and be his friend. We cannot own him. He is not ours (p. 13). I forget that. These children are entrusted to us by God. They are His. And what a mighty responsibility that is.

Macaulay goes on to say on p. 14, "Charlotte Mason rejects the utilitarian view of education and the conventional educational standards of her day. She challenges us instead to identify the child's actual needs and capacities; to serve him as he is, on the basis of what is right and good for him as a person. Will this perspective not produce a selfish, nonuseful member of society? No indeed. Not if we serve this person with true education.


Our journals ask with scorn, --'Is there no education but what is got out of books at school? Is not the lad who works in the fields getting an education?' and the public lacks the courage to say definitely, 'No, he is not,' because there is no clear notion current as to what education means, and how it is to be distinguished from vocational training. But the people begin to understand and to clamour for an education which ?shall qualify their children for life rather than for earning a living. As a matter of fact, it is the person who has read and thought on many subjects who is, with the necessary training, the most capable whether in handling tools, drawing plans, or keeping books. The more of a person we succeed in making a child, the better will he both fulfil his own life and serve society (from Towards a Philosophy of Education, pp. 2, 3, quoted in For the Children's Sake, p. 14).?

It took some time and a quite a bit of reading and chatting with other parents and educators before I began to develop my own philosophy of education. "Charlotte Mason . . . a great educator . . . not only said?that she treasured a child's mind, but she acted upon that belief. Charlotte Mason enjoyed sharing the good things of life with the eager minds of children" (p. 16). Ah. As do I: three in particular. And that makes these days fulfulling. Yes, I am content.

After college, I spent a few years teaching at a junior college. I didn't realize it then, but I was employing some of Ms. Mason's philosophies with my adult students. I knew most of them would never read any classic literature, so I read it to them. We didn't finish the entire book, but I had a few of them tell me later that although they were resistant at first, they loved the story and bought the book to be able to read it on their own. It was ?A Separate Peace. Later, I taught at a homeschool tutorial two days per week. We read some rich literature, discussed it, fiddled around with grammar and syntax, wrote several different pieces, and I fell in love with homeschoolers. My heart opened up to children again. I warmed to the idea of being a Mom.

Now that many of my students are adults, I've asked them if they think I should homeschool my children. They know me. They know my children. They know what it is to be homeschooled. Every single one has responded with a resounding, "Yes."

I truly love these three little people whom God has entrusted to me and my husband, and I desire to serve them--not only with good food to eat and clothes to wear but also to nourish their minds and clothe their hearts. As Macaulay closes her first chapter of For the Children's Sake, "What Is Education?" I will close this post:

Let us really and truly be courageous. . . . One day we will stand before the Creator. Were we willing to give, serve, and sacrifice "for the children's sake"?

("For the Children's Sake" is the motto of the Charlotte Mason College, Ambleside, England.)

Is my life marked by giving, serving, and sacrificing for the sake of my children? Indeed, I hope so.


Source: http://herroyalexcitedness.blogspot.com/2012/11/on-contentment.html

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